bdk – Page 19 – bongdanceking

queer-iced-coffee:

So I’ve been having this thought for a while now that I wanted to talk about with other trans masculine people who like women.

So, our experience with coming to terms with liking girls is nothing like a straight cis man’s.

And I mean that in the sense that, until I figured out I was trans at the age of 15, my experience of coming out and accepting my bisexuality (that’s how I first identified) was indistinguishable from that of any queer woman’s.

And maybe that’s why there are so many trans guys who come to terms with being trans and then really struggle to accept that they are straight.

Because being straight is the default. Growing up, my attraction to boys was never questioned, but I was terrified the first time I got a crush on a girl. I lived in denial about my sexuality for 2 years.

So now, visibly, I pass alright. People on the street read me as male. So if I have a boyfriend I’ll be visibly gay.

But internally? I don’t think of it like that. It’s been 3 years since I came out and I still haven’t been able to switch my thinking.

To me, liking boys is still the “default” and liking girls is still terrifying, unknown territory.

So I open this post to other trans people, what are your thoughts on this?

I totally get what you mean, i’ve often said that the way i love women is fundamentally different to the way that cis men love women.

I thought i was wlw for longer than i’ve known i’m mlm and so for me personally i am more situated into my attraction to women, especially because until I realized i was a trans man I was only interested in dating women.

The issue i personally have with my attraction to women is how much does it affect my place of privilege? like dating women feels really hard for me because i genuinely don’t want to recreate uneven heterosexual power differences and it’s hard to get it through my head that that could never be really true because i’m not a cisgender heterosexual person and i would never put those on any other bi trans man but i also never want to put that pressure onto a woman if that makes any sense?

I don’t know maybe it’s because i dated so many girls for a while and maybe it’s because I analyze myself too much but neither feels the default, being mlm is still so new and fresh to me and dating women feels like this forbidden zone due to my brains own weird thought processes