wow what a way to start things off…anyway i think ppl generally misunderstand absolute nightmares in that they think of us as like, harshly independent strong personalities who get pursued by a sweaterboy and finally settle down but like, in fact that is a shoddily constructed front for the fact that we are wildly needy and just have a lot of shame about that so like in honor of that fact: “tell me where’s the shepherd for this lost lamb/won’t you tell her to put on some speed”
2. motion sickness – phoebe bridgers
“you said when you met me you were bored” like yeah man you sure did
3. i am a rock – simon & garfunkel
it’s so funny and iconic and correct that uma put this on here like im really just tempted to copy paste the entire text of the song into this listicle but i guess i’ll go for “i have my books/and my poetry to protect me/i am shielded in my armor/hiding in my room, safe within my womb/i touch no one and no one touches me” like okay!! bitch!!!
4. oh no! – marina and the diamonds
“one track mind, one track heart/if i fail i’ll fall apart/maybe it is all a test/cause i feel like im the worst/so i always act like im the best” like maRINA did you HAVE TO like okay 1) this gets into the whole ego think that i’ve talked about before where absolute nightmares would have a healthy ego if you averaged it out but we’re always pendulum swinging between narcissism and self-loathing so it’s actually never at a healthy level 2) i always think of this song when i think about my theory that absolute nightmares tend to be super career focused bc we think of ourselves as being doomed to spend our lives in one-sided adoration so like, why not proactively pick something that can’t love you back anyway? bc absolute nightmares are all about creating the illusion of control
5. futile devices – sufjan stevens
“and when i sleep on your couch i feel very safe” i don’t want to say anything about this i just wanna be soft about it in private
6. savior – st. vincent
st. vincent really is the patron saint of absolute nightmares like very few lyrics come to mind that come close to the efficient articulation of like, combined love & frustration w ppl who can’t see past the larger-than-life that you get w “love you to the grave and farther/honey i can’t be your martyr”
7. i wanna dance with somebody – whitney houston
not to go for the absolute lowest hanging fruit but “i wanna dance with somebody…with somebody who loves me” anyway every time i hear this i think of the time my absolute nightmare comrade in arms L sobbed drunkenly to this song in an uber
8. delicate – taylor swift
listen i’m a weird little farm goblin who lives under a rock and to this day i don’t actually know what the drama is that set off the whole reputation thing and like i think it has to do w beyonce so i’m probably not on taylor’s side of it but “my reputation’s never been worse so you must like me for me” really did have me almost wailing on I-84E
9. new york – st. vincent
“you’re the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me/you’re the only motherfucker in the city who can stand me/you’re the only motherfucker in the city who’d forgive me”
10. all the birds – julia weldon
“you’re never really happy no matter how hard she tries/no, i’m pushing you away” you know that line in that poem of mine that goes “nothing enough ever”? yeah
11. wilson (expensive mistakes) – fall out boy
“don’t you know there’s nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you” like yeah i think a lot of absolute nightmares when they want to appeal to a person will just dial up their Charming Eccentricity which is like, a very low efficiency means of making connections and ends up w this Mood
12. i wanna be yours – arctic monkeys
there are plenty of songs on this playlist that make me cry but this one makes me laugh bc of the lines “secrets i have held in my heart/are harder to hide than i thought/maybe i just wanna be yours/i wanna be yours, i wanna be yours” we keep our stupid hearts on our stupid sleeves and ppl are like “oh is that an iron-on patch?” and we’re like “no like can’t you tell from all the blood oh my god”
13. breaking your own heart – kelly clarkson
“you say you just want love/but when it’s close enough you just let it go” kelly 😦
14. new york – piano version – st. vincent
i love that uma understands that new york is SUCH an absolute nightmare anthem that both versions need to be on this playlist but anyway after the absolute wallop to the head that is the whole “you’re the only motherfucker in the city” sequence the second most AN bit of this song has to be “i have lost a hero, i have lost a friend/but for you darling i’d do it all again” which is such a shockingly nightmare line that only st vincent could have a song w that but have a line so much MORE nightmarish that this is like, a far second. i mean it really gets to that whole thing of nightmares being totally willing to do toss their whole life out the window for that One Person
15. getaway car – taylor swift
“don’t pretend it’s such a mystery/think about the place where you first met me” like our whole THING is that you know exactly what you’re getting into w us like we’re exactly what it says on the tin. like you really did just stick ur hand in that pot of boiling water. dumbass. please love me.
16. 1950 – king princess
i know this is sort of dubiously linking up a verse to the chorus but “i’m surprised when you kiss me/so tell me why my gods look like you” like*spoon caught in the garbage disposal sound* we really do love to idolize ppl who don’t actually love us huh
17. liability – lorde
“i am a toy that people enjoy til all of the tricks don’t work anymore/and then they are bored of me” do i even have to put commentary on this one like all im gonna say is same energy as that line from motion sickness
18. jackrabbit
“wanna live like an animal/by the skin of your teeth/put your good face on, not foolin no one/you’re a jackrabbit underneath” like i don’t have much articulate to say about this it’s just the Energy u know im just like Ya
19. i am not a robot – marina and the diamonds
in conversations w uma about why absolute nightmares are Like That i regularly paraphrase the line “better to be hated/than loved loved loved for what you’re not” bc it’s just SUCH a nightmare mood like we’re so much more afraid of being loved incorrectly than we are of being rejected
20. los ageless – st. vincent
it’s the obvious choice but also the RIGHT one “how could anybody have you/how could anybody have you and lose you/how could anybody have you and lose you and not lose their mind too” like HHHHH god okay like yeah
21. writer in the dark – lorde
“i am my mother’s child, i’ll love you til my breathing stops/i’ll love you til you call the cops on me/but in our darkest hours i stumbled on a secret power/i found a way to be without you babe” you’d be surprised what you can live without
22. i don’t wanna be funny anymore – lucy dacus
ugh uma’s mind putting this on here they really get it huh….anyway im not going to list a single lyric bc it’s really just the song as a whole and you should go listen to it and understand the absolute nightmare experience! anyway the whole MOOD of making this nice lil role for yourself and playing it up as much as you can and then realizing that’s all anyone sees of you and being like oh! wait! no! i fucked up!
23. hummingbird – the weepies
“wings move faster than the human eye/and if you could see my heart – well if you could see my heart” i loooove this line i just love it and i have for ages anyway this song has always spoken to my adhd heart but like it’s also a real absolute nightmare mood like this sure is an intense way to experience existence!!
24. to be alone – hozier
i actually suggested this one so i obviously have to say the line i texted uma to substantiate the claim that to be alone is an absolute nightmare anthem, which was “honey when you kill the lights & kiss my eyes/i feel like a person for a moment of my life which” hhHHhhHhHHhh anyway to be loved is to be brought down from the myth you have made yourself back into personhood
bongdanceking 