there are bi people who live the exact same material reality as gay people in that they exclusively pursue the same gender – while at the same time they acknowledge that they’re attracted to the other gender and even though it’s not something that they want to act on (and so being irrelevant to their material reality), it’s still an important part of their identity as a bi person
however! that doesn’t mean that you cant identify as gay/lesbian if you’re theoretically attracted to the other gender but never want to act on it. you’re in the area where our realities overlap to the extent that there’s no point in arguing whether you should or shouldn’t “be allowed” to adopt one identity or the other. go with what feels right and more comfortable for you, and what do you know, maybe through calling yourself a lesbian you’ll find out that you never really were attracted to men (because that’s a common experience!)
there’s a big difference in calling yourself bi because you think you have to account for the attraction you could potentially feel for the right man (you dont!), and in calling yourself bi because sometimes you’re technically attracted to a man, however inconvenient you find it, and it’s not that you want to signal to the world that you can be attracted to men, but rather that bisexuality is a vibrant identity that you see as your own
tl;dr does the existence of bi people who exclusively date the same gender even though they’re Technically attracted to the other one as well mean that you cant call yourself gay/lesbian if dating the other gender is in the realm of things you could Technically, In Theory do? no. you definitely can call yourself gay/lesbian
does that mean that those bi people are Really Gay and should identify as such? no. dont be the dick who insists that they’re simply in denial and tries to get them to call themselves gay
bongdanceking 